I’m an A+ languisher.Įventually a guilt-instinct kicks in: what about your groceries? What about those recipes you were excited about? Do you dare turn your back on these things and waste more money on delivery? No.
It solves nothing, and yet it’s so fun to do! Truly, it’s my specialty. In either scenario – whether I went to the store or not - I wind up starving and exhausted on a couch, and while the path out of that state seems to be to stand up and cook, I instead employ a different strategy: languishing. I just remain on the sofa playing word games on my phone, reading news about board games, or making memes for Twitter that ultimately only about five people will enjoy. Of course, there are many times when I never even make it to the store. That was hard work! I need a breather! And so the couch draws me back into its clutches. An hour later, I return home, place the bags on the counter and… flop down on the sofa. A ten-minute jaunt turns into an epic saga of idling down every aisle, rolling my eyes at people with poor spatial awareness. Now I’m thinking about all the food I need for not just tonight, but the whole week. The store is its own amusement park of joys and side quests. Sounds like I’m back on track, right? Not really. Whatever the distraction may be, I wind up doing something else entirely and then somehow it’s now 8:30 PM.Īgain, if I’m lucky, I have a second burst of motivation and take myself to the store.
Maybe it’s an email, maybe it’s a voice in my head guilting me into hitting the Peloton first. But chances are I’ve already been distracted away from the task at hand. If I’m lucky, I actually take myself to the store right away. It all sounds very industrious and self-motivated, but the process devolves quickly. I’ll leaf through the pages, jot down a list of potential recipes, and then assemble the ingredients on my phone proudly as if I’ve actually pulled out a four course meal from my oven already. “I’ll just peruse some of these underused cookbooks,” I will tell myself as I settle into the sofa, arranging a small stack of volumes next to my hip. It’s a laziness that spans hours - usually starting in the afternoon moments after I pledge to go to the grocery store to shop for dinner. For as much as I spill ink about recipes and cooking, the truth is that I am incredibly lazy. You’ve been sitting on the sofa doing who knows what, and you’re hungry but not willing to reach for Postmates again.
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